We recently wrote about the crazy reasons a Southern Baptist preacher gave for supporting polyamory, which were about as incoherent as the idea of a polyamorous marriage is confusing.
This time, we’ve got something even more nuts!
A recent article in the Daily Mail featured an inside look at a South Carolina couple who have been married for 22 years. To see them together, you would think they were a perfectly ordinary happily married middle-aged couple with three children.
One quickly discovers they are anything but ordinary, however, as they happily explain how their marriage works: both Carl and Kenya Stevens openly date other people while remaining married and raising their children together.
Not only that, but they actually coach other polyamorous couples in their own open marriages and relationships, and also shamelessly flaunt their multiple sex partners in front of their three children, aged 12, 16, and 19.
While they talk big about how empowering and loving it is to be in an open marriage, the story of how they ended up this way is nothing short of self-delusion.
11 years ago, Kenya says, “Carl came home and told me he was falling in love with another woman at his job and I was distraught.”
Rather than, you know, simply practice self-control and remain committed to his wife, Carl was intrigued by Kenya’s most likely bitter suggestion that she date other men as well.
“I’d heard of men dating other women,” he says, “but women dating other men when they’re already married was completely foreign to me. But the more I thought about it, I said maybe it does make sense for equality. If I want something, then Kenya should be able to have that same thing.”
Of course, it wasn’t really that simple.
“Discussing polyamory was extremely difficult at first. There were a lot of arguments, a lot of emotions. It was really challenging,” Kenya admits.
“When I first went on a date, it felt like I was betraying my husband. In western culture here in America women are not supposed to have a sex drive or desire men when we are married. It is taboo. It was hard to break through all of those belief systems,” Kenya explains, attempting to justify what was obviously her conscience that it was wrong to betray her covenant with her husband as some kind of social construct.
It wasn’t exactly easy for Carl, either, he explains.
“It was very painful for me. I started having all these thoughts and images of her having sex. My jealousies and insecurities really came out,” he says.
All these feelings could be explained by the simple fact that they were cheating on their spouse.
As they already had children, they told them what was going on. Becuase of course they did.
“From the time that we opened, we told our children. And it meant that mummy and daddy could love more people and they just got it,” Kenya said. “They didn’t have any issues with polyamory.”
This could be explained by the fact that they were small children and looked to their parents for guidance on life so why wouldn’t they question this? Many children would be totally accepting if their parents stopped going to work every day or insisting on dental hygiene, but that wouldn’t make it right.
For some insane reason, the Daily Mail actually asked the child’s 12-year-old, Kaheri, if he would consider a polyamorous lifestyle when he grows up. Why does a 12-year-old even need to be thinking about these things?
“I would not go into something which is clearly not as good as what my parents have, he says. “‘Further down the line, I will definitely consider doing the poly thing, 100 percent.”
And why wouldn’t he? This is the sick example his parents are setting for him and he will never have any personal experience with a proper, committed, monogamous marriage. The Stevens say they’ve even had the couple’s lovers living in their family home in the past. If this poor boy ever tries to have a monogamous marriage, he won’t know what that even looks like.
The Stevens aren’t just teaching their children how to normalize dysfunctional, complicated relationships, they’ve opened a “Love Academy” to teach other people…whatever it is that one is able to teach after living in an open marriage for 11 years.
If you watch the video of their sessions with clients, it’s clear that they are simply trying to help others navigate something that is messy, emotionally draining, and simply not natural.
They don’t see things that way, though, as Kenya says:
“What is the future of love? The future of love is community. Humans need community and we’re creating the new culture. We’re creating the future of love.”
Great. Even marriage is Marxist now.